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Head In the Electric Oven
(laughing my ass off)
Created on 2005-07-05 11:21:33 (#7637009), last updated 2008-04-10
116 comments received, 241 comments posted
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86 Journal Entries, 33 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 12 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | merrychristen |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 12-18 |
| Location: | Tampa Bitches!, United States |
| Website: | Money's On The Dresser |
BioSigns of the apocolypse: pregnant women, clowns, midgets, and yellow automobiles. If I ever see these things in one horrid configuration - take cover, because I will be expecting imminent Rapture.
Oh, about the Rapture - they tell you to wear clean underwear. But what if you don't like to wear undies sometimes? Will God be offended and send me back to a fiery pestilential death here on Earth because it's No Panties Tuesday, or whatever? What if S/He doesn't approve of the ones I am wearing? Fuck, now I'm confused.
I wonder too....
how people can wear white belts. They never look good.
how people could have voted for Bush. Were they NOT paying attention?
how people can judge others so wrongly? I judge myself more harshly and wrongly than you ever could....
If I were to come into a large amount of money (through trophy wife-ism, great lawsuit, or dead family) I would buy a yacht and name it The Jolly Rogering and engage in piracy against rich dipshits and shady foreigners and steal all of their shit. I would also buy a small island and open a rest home for retired actors, strippers and Bartenders.
I have been told I am a great bartender, which doesn't matter, and that I make the best Bloody Mary on the planet, which DOES matter, oh so much...
I love love and I love edible lysol and I love sloth and beer.
I like to cook and clean and sew, but I will never get married.... unless somebody gives me a big fat rock.
I have learned that when you volunteer, you will never be asked to do anything, but if you try to run and hide, the bastards will find you every time.
I hate talking about myself but it seems to be the only subject I know anything about, other than some obscure trivia.
I have the oddest moments of Zen.
I hate all diets and all people on them. Why can't they make a diet where you eat steaks and drink beer and work out when there's something fun to do like beach pong or frisbee, but the rest of the time you can eat leftover Chinese cold out of the fridge and sit on the couch watching Chapelle's show and the History Channel?
I hate people who are fucking assholes because they have to be, not because it's fun.
Oh, about the Rapture - they tell you to wear clean underwear. But what if you don't like to wear undies sometimes? Will God be offended and send me back to a fiery pestilential death here on Earth because it's No Panties Tuesday, or whatever? What if S/He doesn't approve of the ones I am wearing? Fuck, now I'm confused.
I wonder too....
how people can wear white belts. They never look good.
how people could have voted for Bush. Were they NOT paying attention?
how people can judge others so wrongly? I judge myself more harshly and wrongly than you ever could....
If I were to come into a large amount of money (through trophy wife-ism, great lawsuit, or dead family) I would buy a yacht and name it The Jolly Rogering and engage in piracy against rich dipshits and shady foreigners and steal all of their shit. I would also buy a small island and open a rest home for retired actors, strippers and Bartenders.
I have been told I am a great bartender, which doesn't matter, and that I make the best Bloody Mary on the planet, which DOES matter, oh so much...
I love love and I love edible lysol and I love sloth and beer.
I like to cook and clean and sew, but I will never get married.... unless somebody gives me a big fat rock.
I have learned that when you volunteer, you will never be asked to do anything, but if you try to run and hide, the bastards will find you every time.
I hate talking about myself but it seems to be the only subject I know anything about, other than some obscure trivia.
I have the oddest moments of Zen.
I hate all diets and all people on them. Why can't they make a diet where you eat steaks and drink beer and work out when there's something fun to do like beach pong or frisbee, but the rest of the time you can eat leftover Chinese cold out of the fridge and sit on the couch watching Chapelle's show and the History Channel?
I hate people who are fucking assholes because they have to be, not because it's fun.
ConnectInterests (22):
badmitton, boat parties, cock fighting, croquet, fishing, geek dodging, hi-jinx, kareoke, kibitzing, lawn darts, mah jong, martinis, music, ping pong, porn, shenannegans, shopping, theater, tomfoolery, trivia, wine, yoga
External Services:
 | merrychristen@livejournal.com | |
 | merrychristen |
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